I love this site, as well as polyvore.com. But why am I writing a blog piece on it? Cause I'm completely bored.
So, being my weird self, I decided to do an experiment. I put on my playlist on youtube and wait for a good song, then make the first outfit that pops into my head. I have a grand total of 9. And I'm having such fun; I'm making outfits I never would've thought of. The songs I've used so far are as follows:
Lucky- Britney Spears (No, I DON'T want your opinion on Britney.)
Teenagers- My Chemical Romance (Note- don't listen to this one if you're under 13. It has a repetetive cuss word, aka, the same cuss word in it more than once.)
Around the World (La la la la la)- ATC
Love Will Find a Way- The Lion King. Er, one of them. I really don't know.
Me against the World- Simple Plan
I Write Sins not Tragedies- Panic! At the Disco
Desert Rose-Sting
I wanna be perfect- The Zeta Bytes. You know, from that movie. By disney.
Welcome to my Life- Simple Plan
On dressupchallenge I'm SubakuNoLily. Look for me~
Now I'm depressed because I realized how close "Welcome to my Life" and "I'm just a kid" match my life. *sighs* I'm so happy on the outside, but if I directly followed my heart, I'd be lying on the bed in a "C" position, sobbing as though my heart will break. I'm that sad inside.
But don't worry about me. I make it through each day. You all just have your fun, and don't worry about me.
Seriously. That was NOT reverse psycology. If there's one thing I hate more than scorn, it's pity. I can't STAND being pitied. It's the best way to get me to yell at you, actually.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Humor (or lack thereof)
Apparently, the friend was kidding. I'm sorry I blew it out of proportion, my friend. But I must say- you have a strange sense of humor.
A very very strange sense of humor.
And/or lack thereof.
...
YOU KNOW I LUVS YAH~
By the way, I'm just now thinking on this, because of the 'Trial' I faced today.
Some girls are elated to be girls. I am not one of them. Why are they all so happy to be part of the gender that has THE most cattiness among anything on the earth? I'm sure that komodo dragons get along better than a group of teenage girls. I gods-honest wish that I was not a girl sometimes. Not only would I be able to hang out with Alex (my friend) without having LILY LIKES ALEX OMGWTFBBQ! going on, I wouldn't have to deal with being on the edge everyday, wary of my friends freaking stabbing me in the back. That's the second thing: Most people strive to be a popular kid. Isn't school hard enough? I don't want to be the one who has to watch my back and be Little Miss Perfect for fear of my status dropping (and Honey, you can't get lower than this. *looks proud of nerdi/geekiness*). And the gossip OH the gossip! I'm not saying I go "STOP GOSSIPING!" whenever I hear someone talking. I will admit that it's my main sin: I love to hear gossip. I'll admit it. But I avoid being the center of gossip or actually gossiping myself. I listen, but I sit there reading my book demurely, and people seem to think my ears dissapear or something while I'm reading, so they go "Blab blab blab" and I go "huh, I wonder if that's true" or "That does NOT sound like something _______ would do". I actually zone out of the words. I gaurentee, if you are gossiping near me, and you watch me over the other persons shoulder, you will not see me flip the page, because I'm not actually read. I'm such a bad girl~
Anyways, the point is... WTH IS UP WITH THE CATTINESS OF GIRLS? That and- I DO NOT WANT TO BE POPULAR AND YOU WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND OR MY HEART, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!
Thankyouforlisteningandhaveagoodday.
A very very strange sense of humor.
And/or lack thereof.
...
YOU KNOW I LUVS YAH~
By the way, I'm just now thinking on this, because of the 'Trial' I faced today.
Some girls are elated to be girls. I am not one of them. Why are they all so happy to be part of the gender that has THE most cattiness among anything on the earth? I'm sure that komodo dragons get along better than a group of teenage girls. I gods-honest wish that I was not a girl sometimes. Not only would I be able to hang out with Alex (my friend) without having LILY LIKES ALEX OMGWTFBBQ! going on, I wouldn't have to deal with being on the edge everyday, wary of my friends freaking stabbing me in the back. That's the second thing: Most people strive to be a popular kid. Isn't school hard enough? I don't want to be the one who has to watch my back and be Little Miss Perfect for fear of my status dropping (and Honey, you can't get lower than this. *looks proud of nerdi/geekiness*). And the gossip OH the gossip! I'm not saying I go "STOP GOSSIPING!" whenever I hear someone talking. I will admit that it's my main sin: I love to hear gossip. I'll admit it. But I avoid being the center of gossip or actually gossiping myself. I listen, but I sit there reading my book demurely, and people seem to think my ears dissapear or something while I'm reading, so they go "Blab blab blab" and I go "huh, I wonder if that's true" or "That does NOT sound like something _______ would do". I actually zone out of the words. I gaurentee, if you are gossiping near me, and you watch me over the other persons shoulder, you will not see me flip the page, because I'm not actually read. I'm such a bad girl~
Anyways, the point is... WTH IS UP WITH THE CATTINESS OF GIRLS? That and- I DO NOT WANT TO BE POPULAR AND YOU WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND OR MY HEART, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!
Thankyouforlisteningandhaveagoodday.
Me, myself, and I want to beat the living daylights out of people.
When will people give it up? I'm NOT going to be a pushover anymore, I'm NOT going to follow your every instruction like you're some "God/Goddess on earth". If you're used to that treatment, too bad, cause I'm not going to treat you like some damn princess/prince.
Anyone wondering what the heck my bad mood is about? Well, I spend a lot of time on the computer, as you most likely realize by now. But I don't give a rats butt as to my status message unless I really feel I have something to tell EVERYone. So I'm searching something on youtube (I think, I don't keep records :P). And I hear the tell tale -beep- that means someones trying to talk to me. So I go and all I see is "Aaaaaaaaaaaaa" from one of my friends. So I say "what? Why "aaaaaaaaaaa"?". She replies with "You're so dumb." So I think what anyone else would think at this point- "wth?"
Me: wth?
Her: Why don't you have a status message?
I look- sure enough, my message from last night was deleted. So I re-put it up, and the person puts that line, plus some lines from another song (the message was a line or two from "Me against the world"). I said she mixed the two together. She said "duh". I said, well, I'd accidently done it before, but I'm a spaz, so I don't count. She said no, you don't. I said, that's mean. She said, ya, deal. And change your status. I said, what if I refuse to deal, and no, I like it. She said "Shut up loser. I'll block you. You're annoying." I said, I'm being me! I don't want to be controlled! She said, yeah. That's the problem.
At that moment, I felt that she had shoved a knife under my ribs. I had known her since Kindergarten. What the HELL was going on? I said she was horrible, she said "ok then." I said, I don't want to be controlled! (If this was real life, I would've been howling by then. Yes, I howl my words when I'm mad.) I said, I want to be ME. She gave me the devil face. I said, not funny. Not one bit funny. She said, Temarri. (Temari is my internet name, and the current name I use for chat.) I had had it. She left, and I didn't even notice. I still howled at her:
me: OH SHUT UP! I DO WHAT I DO FOR A REASON! And what about you? Do you have a reason for striking me down repeatedly? What happened to those years of friendship? You just ripped those down in 5 quick minutes.
Then I realized she was gone, and started to cry. Where was my friend? Where had she gone? The one I invited to my birthday, the one who always invited me to hers? The one I'd been with for seven years? Where was she? I wanted her back so desperately. I wanted her to say, "I'm sorry, someone hacked my account, I didn't mean a word of that, it wasn't me."
But deep in my heart, I feel it was her.
What did I do? What did I say that was so wrong that she had to send me into misery? Not having a status message? It has to be deeper than my personality; if she didn't like my personality she would have told me so a long time ago. So what happened? What did I do? Where is that girl I knew? Where is my friend?
Anyone wondering what the heck my bad mood is about? Well, I spend a lot of time on the computer, as you most likely realize by now. But I don't give a rats butt as to my status message unless I really feel I have something to tell EVERYone. So I'm searching something on youtube (I think, I don't keep records :P). And I hear the tell tale -beep- that means someones trying to talk to me. So I go and all I see is "Aaaaaaaaaaaaa" from one of my friends. So I say "what? Why "aaaaaaaaaaa"?". She replies with "You're so dumb." So I think what anyone else would think at this point- "wth?"
Me: wth?
Her: Why don't you have a status message?
I look- sure enough, my message from last night was deleted. So I re-put it up, and the person puts that line, plus some lines from another song (the message was a line or two from "Me against the world"). I said she mixed the two together. She said "duh". I said, well, I'd accidently done it before, but I'm a spaz, so I don't count. She said no, you don't. I said, that's mean. She said, ya, deal. And change your status. I said, what if I refuse to deal, and no, I like it. She said "Shut up loser. I'll block you. You're annoying." I said, I'm being me! I don't want to be controlled! She said, yeah. That's the problem.
At that moment, I felt that she had shoved a knife under my ribs. I had known her since Kindergarten. What the HELL was going on? I said she was horrible, she said "ok then." I said, I don't want to be controlled! (If this was real life, I would've been howling by then. Yes, I howl my words when I'm mad.) I said, I want to be ME. She gave me the devil face. I said, not funny. Not one bit funny. She said, Temarri. (Temari is my internet name, and the current name I use for chat.) I had had it. She left, and I didn't even notice. I still howled at her:
me: OH SHUT UP! I DO WHAT I DO FOR A REASON! And what about you? Do you have a reason for striking me down repeatedly? What happened to those years of friendship? You just ripped those down in 5 quick minutes.
Then I realized she was gone, and started to cry. Where was my friend? Where had she gone? The one I invited to my birthday, the one who always invited me to hers? The one I'd been with for seven years? Where was she? I wanted her back so desperately. I wanted her to say, "I'm sorry, someone hacked my account, I didn't mean a word of that, it wasn't me."
But deep in my heart, I feel it was her.
What did I do? What did I say that was so wrong that she had to send me into misery? Not having a status message? It has to be deeper than my personality; if she didn't like my personality she would have told me so a long time ago. So what happened? What did I do? Where is that girl I knew? Where is my friend?
Friday, July 18, 2008
Natural Superstitiousness...
If you've read my earlier posts, you'll know I am superstious to the point it governs what I do. Also, if you haven't guessed, I absolutely love anything Japanese or Oriental Asian. So when I read a fanfic that involved Japanese superstitions, I thought to myself- "Holy crud! How come I never though to look those up?"
So I did. Now I am very afraid of the number 4. If you try to make me accept something in a set of four, I'll do one of two things. I'll either refuse to take it, or, in case that would be mean, I will simply 'finish' or reduce the set. I'll either "lose" a piece (which would be sad) or try to make a piece to finish the set, and make it five.
I know most of you will be looking at me (my post, whatever) as if I'm crazy (unless you too know the superstition). But I'll leave you with this: the Japanese word for 4 is death (if I'm not mistaken).
So I did. Now I am very afraid of the number 4. If you try to make me accept something in a set of four, I'll do one of two things. I'll either refuse to take it, or, in case that would be mean, I will simply 'finish' or reduce the set. I'll either "lose" a piece (which would be sad) or try to make a piece to finish the set, and make it five.
I know most of you will be looking at me (my post, whatever) as if I'm crazy (unless you too know the superstition). But I'll leave you with this: the Japanese word for 4 is death (if I'm not mistaken).
Monday, July 14, 2008
Woo! Today rocks, too!
This must be my best week ever. EVAR. In addition to what I said before, not only will we MAKE a super awesome cloak, but I will not have to pay a penny for it. Not one. Stinkin. Penny. It went a little something like this...
Mom: Your cloak adds up to... $34
Me: D:
Mom: You need that money to get in, right? I'll pay for it, since your being responsible.
Me: :O
...
Me: :D I love you Moooooom! *hugs mother tightly*
She also got me some black material to make a skirt. Wether I will wear this skirt and an as of now unowned purple chinese style shirt, or a black (elegant!) dress my friends loaning me, I do not know. But It'll be awesome either way! My cloak is apparently called a "highway man" cloak, and will look like the image in the upper right (except the material is less shiny).
Picture from Carpatina.com .
Mom: Your cloak adds up to... $34
Me: D:
Mom: You need that money to get in, right? I'll pay for it, since your being responsible.
Me: :O
...
Me: :D I love you Moooooom! *hugs mother tightly*
She also got me some black material to make a skirt. Wether I will wear this skirt and an as of now unowned purple chinese style shirt, or a black (elegant!) dress my friends loaning me, I do not know. But It'll be awesome either way! My cloak is apparently called a "highway man" cloak, and will look like the image in the upper right (except the material is less shiny).
Picture from Carpatina.com .
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Error! Error! Crud Crud CRUD!
BIG ISSUE.
If we can't raise over $60 by October 11, we can't go to Anime USA!!! Unless, of course, Jet refuses to come, but that would suck so we're really hoping she will. ANYways, If anyone has a good idea to raise money, please comment, telling us your great idea. It would mean so much if you gave us an idea, because it may get us there; our first Anime Convention. (total geeks? YOU BET!)
NOTE: We are NOT asking you to give us money! Because that would equal begging, and begging for free money on the web= LAME. What we want are ideas, so that we can raise enough to get to the place, plus get some souvenirs if at all possible. So send in those ideas! We'll be waiting!
If we can't raise over $60 by October 11, we can't go to Anime USA!!! Unless, of course, Jet refuses to come, but that would suck so we're really hoping she will. ANYways, If anyone has a good idea to raise money, please comment, telling us your great idea. It would mean so much if you gave us an idea, because it may get us there; our first Anime Convention. (total geeks? YOU BET!)
NOTE: We are NOT asking you to give us money! Because that would equal begging, and begging for free money on the web= LAME. What we want are ideas, so that we can raise enough to get to the place, plus get some souvenirs if at all possible. So send in those ideas! We'll be waiting!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
This is the best week EVAR
Isn't life grand? Ok, so here are a couple of reasons that my week rocked.
1. I go to Borders, with about $20, give or take a few cents. My total purchase would equal $22. Then I remember the coupon booklet I got for not procrastinating like usual and reading 8 novels. It has a "20% off" coupon for Borders, which means I do not have to put back any of my three books, ttyl, a fruits basket fanbook, or my spiffy new sketch book, which I got so I can take it to camp.
2. My brother, Ryuu, has not yet tried to kill me, between Aqua-Basketball and catch with a splash ball. He aims for my head normally, which he hasn't done yet this week. Yay!
3. I might go to Anime USA!!! This makes me deliriously happy. If I do go, then I'm cosplaying as Saki Hanajima. Watch for me!
4. In keeping with the whole "Saki Hanajima" theme, I get to spray paint a parasol/umbrella black, since we cannot find a black umbrella/parasol that doesn't fold up real tiny when you close it. So we're going to take this crayola umbrella from my way past and spray paint it black! I love spray paint, it's the best. I also might be spray painting a fan I got from the dollar store.
5. I MIGHT GO TO ANIME USA HOLY CRUUUUUUUD!
6. If I save up all my money, and sell back the 8 games I don't want anymore, I'll not only have enough to get in, but I can fill my empty shelf with Yuki/Kyo/Momiji/Megumi/Saki merchandise. That shelf is not normally open- I cleaned it off especially so it could serve the honored purpose of "Fruits Basket Merchandise Holder". It actually looks so creepy; it's the only close to empty, including my "Shrine Shelf". (By the way, the only bad part of this week is I nearly screamed because of the Demon Doll. I think she was mad because I had pulled out this silkly red material, and said "I think I'll make something out of this for you," then decided not to. That doll is possessed, I tell you! Possessed!)
Anime USA '08 FTW!
1. I go to Borders, with about $20, give or take a few cents. My total purchase would equal $22. Then I remember the coupon booklet I got for not procrastinating like usual and reading 8 novels. It has a "20% off" coupon for Borders, which means I do not have to put back any of my three books, ttyl, a fruits basket fanbook, or my spiffy new sketch book, which I got so I can take it to camp.
2. My brother, Ryuu, has not yet tried to kill me, between Aqua-Basketball and catch with a splash ball. He aims for my head normally, which he hasn't done yet this week. Yay!
3. I might go to Anime USA!!! This makes me deliriously happy. If I do go, then I'm cosplaying as Saki Hanajima. Watch for me!
4. In keeping with the whole "Saki Hanajima" theme, I get to spray paint a parasol/umbrella black, since we cannot find a black umbrella/parasol that doesn't fold up real tiny when you close it. So we're going to take this crayola umbrella from my way past and spray paint it black! I love spray paint, it's the best. I also might be spray painting a fan I got from the dollar store.
5. I MIGHT GO TO ANIME USA HOLY CRUUUUUUUD!
6. If I save up all my money, and sell back the 8 games I don't want anymore, I'll not only have enough to get in, but I can fill my empty shelf with Yuki/Kyo/Momiji/Megumi/Saki merchandise. That shelf is not normally open- I cleaned it off especially so it could serve the honored purpose of "Fruits Basket Merchandise Holder". It actually looks so creepy; it's the only close to empty, including my "Shrine Shelf". (By the way, the only bad part of this week is I nearly screamed because of the Demon Doll. I think she was mad because I had pulled out this silkly red material, and said "I think I'll make something out of this for you," then decided not to. That doll is possessed, I tell you! Possessed!)
Anime USA '08 FTW!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Leave be!
WHEN? WHEN WILL PEOPLE DECIDE TO LET ME LIVE THE WAY I WANT? HUH? I missed two of my friends while I was at the pool; they tried to talk with me on IM, which I leave on nearly 24-7. So I come back and think "Oh geez, I hope they aren't mad at me! That would kill my happiness for today!" So I put my status as varying words of "Sorry" and "Did I make you mad?"
Later, one of my other, eh, aquaintences, (not close enough to be friends, but I don't hate him either), asked why I was saying sorry. So I told him: I went to the pool, and when I came back I saw the empty IM's and was scared they thought I was ignoring them. He replies with: Please go to the pool instead of sitting at your computer all day g2g.
This
ticked
me
off.
For the main point; this was one of the first times I actually got on the computer that day. The other time? I checked my email, did my dailys (forums, dressupchallenge.com, etc.) and walked away to read a book. After that I left the chat up, because I have two friends who I can't talk to otherwise and don't get on often. So you see, this puts me at roughly... 30 minutes at the computer. (Some people might not get on even that much, but I do.) I have to give it to him, some days I do sit here a long time. But after swimming for 2 and a half hours, this was not what I wanted to hear. I need to calm down. Where's Furuba book 13 when you need it, dangit?!
Later, one of my other, eh, aquaintences, (not close enough to be friends, but I don't hate him either), asked why I was saying sorry. So I told him: I went to the pool, and when I came back I saw the empty IM's and was scared they thought I was ignoring them. He replies with: Please go to the pool instead of sitting at your computer all day g2g.
This
ticked
me
off.
For the main point; this was one of the first times I actually got on the computer that day. The other time? I checked my email, did my dailys (forums, dressupchallenge.com, etc.) and walked away to read a book. After that I left the chat up, because I have two friends who I can't talk to otherwise and don't get on often. So you see, this puts me at roughly... 30 minutes at the computer. (Some people might not get on even that much, but I do.) I have to give it to him, some days I do sit here a long time. But after swimming for 2 and a half hours, this was not what I wanted to hear. I need to calm down. Where's Furuba book 13 when you need it, dangit?!
Superstitiousness Sucks.
Lately, I've felt kinda pressured, but my brains on the fritz. I've written over 20 fanfics for Naruto! Why is it so hard to write one for Fruits Basket? Every time I try to write one, I feel awkward, almost like if I write something wrong, Kyo is going to burst through the door and beat me into a pulp, which would be really cool if it wasn't me he was beating up. Also, I feel cuss words are needed, and I don't like writing cuss words, as much as they run through my head. I feel like I'm being watched, which is kinda creepy cause Da and Ryuu (my older brother) are both upstairs. The only one behind me is my guinea pig, Inky. Holy- I knew that guinea pig hated me! Please don't hurt me, guinea pig...
I've heard too many stories. It's hard for me to fall asleep, and it's all Anne's fault! Anne is a doll that's part of a diorama on my bookshelf. It's not really a diorama, more of a... shrine? Either way, it's my inspiration for a story that I keep forgetting to work on. In the two back corners sit two "Dolls of the World" Barbie dolls. (STFU, people who are going to judge me for have dolls.) One I named Anne- The "Doll of the World" Portugal, who has fly-away black hair under a golden net-crown and wears a red dress with puffy sleeves. The other doll, Emmaline, is "Doll of the World" Ireland, who has Red-gold hair and a green dress. But her dress is more... civilian-y? It's more everyday than Anne's. Anne (this is all coming from my story) is mean, ladylike, and spiteful, Emmaline is kind, fun, and adventurous. But guess which one I can see from my bed? That's right- Anne. I am extremely superstious. So I've heard all these stories in which evil dolls start to get angry with their owners, and eventually kill them. In the daylight, I think like a normal person- "It's a freaking doll! It can't hurt me!" but at night, I get freaked out. So last week I decided to placate Little Anne. So I found some faux fur, and without thinking, cried, "This would be lovely on you Emmaline!" And cut it to size, making a little shawl for the doll. I looked over at Anne. Was it just me, or was the doll frowning? It was probably just me, but I looked furiously throught my drawers, until I found more faux fur, this time in black, cut it to size, and draped it around that evil little dolls shoulders. I look away, I look back. She seems to be smiling again, almost smirking. Her face seemed to have a "I have you in my grasp" look to it. I shuddered and ran out of the room. So now, when I go to sleep, I have to push into the pillow or blanket, so that I can't see that dolls pale face leering at me in the dark room. That doll scares me. Stupid, right? But I'm even more scared to try to hide her away, or she might take offense and want revenge, ne? Ugh, what's a girl to do?
I've heard too many stories. It's hard for me to fall asleep, and it's all Anne's fault! Anne is a doll that's part of a diorama on my bookshelf. It's not really a diorama, more of a... shrine? Either way, it's my inspiration for a story that I keep forgetting to work on. In the two back corners sit two "Dolls of the World" Barbie dolls. (STFU, people who are going to judge me for have dolls.) One I named Anne- The "Doll of the World" Portugal, who has fly-away black hair under a golden net-crown and wears a red dress with puffy sleeves. The other doll, Emmaline, is "Doll of the World" Ireland, who has Red-gold hair and a green dress. But her dress is more... civilian-y? It's more everyday than Anne's. Anne (this is all coming from my story) is mean, ladylike, and spiteful, Emmaline is kind, fun, and adventurous. But guess which one I can see from my bed? That's right- Anne. I am extremely superstious. So I've heard all these stories in which evil dolls start to get angry with their owners, and eventually kill them. In the daylight, I think like a normal person- "It's a freaking doll! It can't hurt me!" but at night, I get freaked out. So last week I decided to placate Little Anne. So I found some faux fur, and without thinking, cried, "This would be lovely on you Emmaline!" And cut it to size, making a little shawl for the doll. I looked over at Anne. Was it just me, or was the doll frowning? It was probably just me, but I looked furiously throught my drawers, until I found more faux fur, this time in black, cut it to size, and draped it around that evil little dolls shoulders. I look away, I look back. She seems to be smiling again, almost smirking. Her face seemed to have a "I have you in my grasp" look to it. I shuddered and ran out of the room. So now, when I go to sleep, I have to push into the pillow or blanket, so that I can't see that dolls pale face leering at me in the dark room. That doll scares me. Stupid, right? But I'm even more scared to try to hide her away, or she might take offense and want revenge, ne? Ugh, what's a girl to do?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Hey there
I decided I just have too much on my mind to just sit here anymore. So I found blogspot, and lo and behold here I am. I don't expect people to actually read this. *shakes head, grinning* No one wants to hear me rant, ne? Oh well. The point is now I have a place to rant other than in my head, which would probably have driven my crazy.
Last night, I was on my way back from the Nationals game. Without speaking, I looked up into the sky. It was pure black- no stars, no clouds. I was wearing pure black- black skort, black tee-shirt, black hair tie. I looked up there, and wished I could go into the sky and escape. No one would be able to find me. I could've broken into the night and never been found again. But I didn't, and here I am. But I never wished for something more than I did that night. I wanted to be free.
Last night, I was on my way back from the Nationals game. Without speaking, I looked up into the sky. It was pure black- no stars, no clouds. I was wearing pure black- black skort, black tee-shirt, black hair tie. I looked up there, and wished I could go into the sky and escape. No one would be able to find me. I could've broken into the night and never been found again. But I didn't, and here I am. But I never wished for something more than I did that night. I wanted to be free.
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