Another Sad Night Spent Crying in a Comfy Green Chair

*eyes tear up*

*wails* I'm such a bad Kiyooooooooooooo! I haven't ever figured out if I like Kiba or Momiji better and I bring in another factor! Is it my fault I fall in love so often? I feel really bad, but what I feel for both Momiji and Hunny is so intense it really frightens me! It's not right to like Anime charecters like I do, but I really am on the verge of tears writing this.

Maybe it's because I always had unfailing love around me that I don't understand the importance of faithfulness. Maybe it's just a misprogramming in my brain. Or maybe... maybe it's protecting me from the real world. *starts crying in earnest* Twice I've kidded myself into thinking that another person might need me as much as I want them. Two other times I kidded myself into thinking myself in love with a person, because I wanted someone I could love. Once, and only once, have I ever had that net of security that is knowing I love a person and they love me back. Then we became friends, and I thought I didn't 'love' him anymore. At least, that's what I told people.

"You like Kuroda, right?"
"No, I don't!"
"Come off it, yes you do!"
"NO! No, I DON'T!!!"

Yes! Yes, I do! I haven't seen him in so long, I think of him almost every waking moment- and no one recognizes my anguish, because I don't want to burden them with my troubles. But thatis exactly what it is: anguish! Anguish at the lack of Kuroda! *sits up quickly* Not that I can tell Kuroda any of this, gods no. Not until I know if he still likes me. I don't want to ruin our friendship if he likes someone else. But still- If I don't tell someone directly soon, I'll do what Kisa Sohma did, and collaspe into a lightless, silent world.

Someone save me, please... my time is running out!