...why do I feel like I've done something horribly wrong? It's this constant pressure, the same feeling I have everytime I know I need to apoligize. It's also in the fact that Hana hasn't talked to me in a few days, Sasa hasn't for a while (though she did talk to me today) and Sempai hasn't talked to me since last night, even though I saw him on today. I've got a bad feeling, like I've disgraced myself somehow and need to dig myself out of this hole.
... *insert terrified shriek here* Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why THIS soundtrack?! *Throws off headphones* That demoralized me practicly into the negatives! "One of Us" from the Lion King 2: Ever heard it? You know how sometimes things sound different when your nervous, frightened, subconciously feeling something, etc? Well, suddenly all of the voices singing "One of Us" turned into my friends (see above, plus Jet and Kisa). Dissaproving, angry, hating- I deserve it, certainly, but I don't think they would do that.
Have I ever told anyone what my greatest fear is? Yes, say it with me: People ignoring and hating me. How often, before I met those 5 (Sempai, Sasa, Kisa, Hana, and Jet, for those with counting issues) did I feel mute, reaching out to someone who wasn't there? And how often, in these past few weeks, have I waited by my laptop with bated breath, waiting for one of them to come back so I could be heard again? Soon, I might go almost silent, only able to talk to them.
Kiyo shouldn't afflict her presence on people.
Kiyo should stick to her animals.
Kiyo does not deserve people.
So why does she insist on trying?
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2 comments:
Oh, Kiyo-chan! Im sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, but I was soooo busy last week, and didn't have time! and I was sick today... I shall try to be on more to keep my Kiyo-chan from thinking such silly nonsense about being unworthy. If you were unworthy, i wouldn't have been friends with you in the first place. And I am friends with you, and you ROCK! so....ha! ^_^
Hana-chan is such a good friend... I should know better than to think everyone has time to spend on the computer! *laughs* It's just me who has no life, I suppose. And proud of it! *laughs again*
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